Personal Boundaries: The only person who can protect your spirit, is you.
“The only people who get upset about your boundaries are the ones who are benefiting from you having none.”
While I can’t for the life of me remember where I first read these words, I’ll never forget how I felt when reading them for the first time. The usually relaxed, fluffy blonde hairs on the back of my neck, snapped to attention. My skin prickled with emotion.
Clearly, they resonated with you too, with snapshots of this page appearing in my DMs day after day, from My Beautiful Mess readers who also felt the same sensation.
There was a time when the concept of boundaries was foreign to me. Naively, I thought giving your all & letting the whole universe in, was how you succeeded. What the world expected. And we all know how that ended.
Today, I liken my personal boundaries to my spiritual Hazmat suit. The fierce protector of my core values & Director of the narrative of my life.
When they call “action” & “cut”, I listen. I’m confident in their role as my protector. That they know full well when the “what is ok” in my world, creeps into the territory of “what isn’t”. Gently beckoning me back.
I type these words with a calm confidence because funnily enough, it is the uncompromising nature of my boundaries that has enabled me to soften my edges.
I no longer live in a constant state of fight & flight on the edge of life’s precipice. Prickly. Nervy. Anxious. Distracted. Those days are thankfully long gone.
Today, I’m very much in control.
Which is why when my boundaries are violated, I notice. And I act.
The past few months have tossed up a challenge that has followed me like a shadow, determined to darken my light. I was as clear as crystal by what was not OK. And this was ignored. My only priority, to listen to my soul.
I chose to approach this situation with a compassionate lens. Always for myself & initially for others. However, that wasn’t enough.
It profoundly saddens me that there are people out there whose life is a constant marathon. Those who are constantly running. Sprinting from one mistake to the next, deepening the crevices of their flaws. And never accepting the role they might have played.
Because they always played a role.
While I’m a happy agitator in the intellectual world, when it comes to matters of the heart, my preference is not to defend. My ego doesn’t need the pedestal & my spirit appreciates the nourishment forgiveness & compassion affords.
However, even the most compassionate hearts can be prodded too much.
None of us, is great at hiding the parts of ourselves we don’t like. The armour we choose, a conspicuous exoskeleton. A harsh protector of the fragile vulnerability lying beneath, constantly pulsating to the rhythm of the beating heart that surrounds it.
Because vulnerability is all heart. Embracing it, offering the greatest gift we can ever give ourselves.
Self Love.
Peta x
Coaching Customer Connections | Commercial Growth Consultant | Guest Blogger |
Author of My Beautiful Mess - Living through burnout & rediscovering me